I am going to attempt to go to sleep “early” tonight, well this morning. Insomnia has been kicking my ass lately. One morning I even stayed up to about 11 a.m. before I even called it “a night.” Causing me to wake up at random times in the day and have unnecessary boosts of energy in the night. This isn’t good. I do not know how I function like this, little miss vampira. Team no sleep in deed.
I would be fine if it was time well spent, but most cases I am just up zombified with nothing meaningful to do. I am still in vacation mode so I guess this is okay. I pity the people who work over night jobs. I feel as though I am living in another dimension. When everyone is up I am asleep and vice versa. I do not like the hustle and bustle of busy mornings, but the night isn’t for the living. It is for the walking dead. Some nights I find peace in the stillness, but too much of ones self I believe can drive you crazy. Look at Tom Hanks and Mr. Wilson in cast away. Sometimes a healthy dose of social interaction is good. Okay, okay maybe I am being a little melodramatic, I am not living in a cave on a secluded island, I have complete access to the outside world, and I am not being held hostage. Correction I am holding myself hostage by being stuck in this hectic sleep routine I have created for myself.
Where does the self-control come in at? Do I have control over this? It always happens when I have the most on my mind. I refuse to take sleeping medication at this point. I can get into a whole rant on how I believe that the pharmaceutical company is the biggest drug dealers in the world, but I will save that subject for a later date. Let me be clear, I am not against medicine I just believe like anything it should be used in moderate at ones discretion. Meaning do what you please just don’t go over board. A lot of these medicines can become addictive or causes side effects. Seems unnatural to me. not too mention a lot of these drugs are experimental and haven’t been around long enough to establish the extent of these long term effects some many cause. I am no Ginny pig. I need to be dang near on my death bed (God Forbid) or facing something unexplained to go into the doctor for anything other than a physical. All doctors are, are people more educated on one subject than we are, and have a degree that says so. Educated guesses occur more often than not, I am assuming. I will WebMD it, pick up a book, and research natural remedies before I let someone take a guess on my health. However, if I were to put that fate into someone else’s hands it would be in the hands of no other than a doctor.
Again, my rant is against medicine, not medical practices, or the people whom practice them. I do not want to sound demeaning, I acknowledge how many lives are saved by doctors and to what extent doctors would go for their clients, so doctors please do not get offended. I just strongly believe in the power of self education. In no way am I saying I am qualified to do open heart surgery. All I am saying is that when suffering from a common cold I will be sure to get plenty of rest and drink fluids, I got that memo years ago. Also, I do not want to discourage anyone from seeking help if need be, I just encourage meditation, yoga, and a diet before going to see a shrink. Again, no pun intended!
Maybe I should do I little sleep study on myself by keeping a log of the times and how long I sleep when I do sleep. I might notice a pattern.
Well, it is 3:10 a.m now…guess that didn’t work! Welp* off to bed anyway ATTEMPT #2 tomorrow, wish me luck!