“A candle loses no light by lighting another candle.” -Rumi

While speaking with a friend today we touched base on some very interesting topics. Why is it so hard for a person; particularly a woman to compliment another?

 Women by nature are very competitive. This I know. As a losing male competitor you are more likely to say “good game” where as with a woman you will have a rival for life. This is not in every case, but generally speaking women take it far more personally. 

I am not trying to make this a battle of the sexies. My point is not the gender, but intent. One not being able to give, as well as receive a compliment is a reflection of one self. 

How you view yourself will impact on great scales how you perceive the world around you. 

You need to be the example; lead by example. Next time you see something you like, SAY IT! It takes nothing from you to do so. 


18 thoughts on ““A candle loses no light by lighting another candle.” -Rumi

  1. thoughtsnlifeblog says:

    Yes a lot of truth her. Love tge quote as the paring thought.

    If we are solid in ourself and inner worth, then to give and share and see others go ahead is no issue abd it should never be. If we feel like that we are competative ..well i something call that jealously. I think that is a sign that inner work needs to be done to feel whole in one self.

    Great post as always

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Carl D'Agostino says:

    Yes that’s what candles are for. I see you are studying Early Childhood Development. Is Melanie Klein still “the go to person” for beginning study basics in this field ? I remain convinced that the psych student must master Freud (despite more modern approaches) because he is like learning the multiplication tables – you can’t evolve in math thinking without them. I was a high school teacher 33 years. It was very obvious which teens had no or very little parental guidance in early years in any form of learning direction. Seems kids learn from TV nonsense these days. Those cartoons are so loud and full of screeching – no wonder kids become noise cyclones and visual stimulation so imprinted that the arduous task of reading and integrating with text becomes so very very difficult for many. Thanks for your recent visit to my blog.

    Liked by 3 people

    • sbwritingsite says:

      It’s been awhile since I have studied Freud. Freshman year in college intro to psychology we discussed his theory on dreams & how they play into the subconscious. Yes, Melanie Klein & objects relations theory is still the go to person. Maybe you can help me with this one. I remember reading about gradual activity or graduated activity, does this ring a bell to you? I’ve been unsuccessfully trying to find an article about it. Indeed, children are like sponges & learn through their environment. I don’t fault the children for it. It is unfortunate really.


      • Carl D'Agostino says:

        Perhaps a quick wiki review of these people might lead you in a helpful direction:

        active learning – C. Bonwell
        classification of educational objectives – Benjamin Bloom
        critical pedagogy – Paulo Freire
        cognitive dissonance theory – Elliot Aronson
        cognitive learning theory -Jerome Bruner
        computer based learning Robert Gagné
        conditions of learning – Robert Gagné
        constructionism – Seymour Papert
        constructivism – Jean Piaget
        discovery learning – Jerome Bruner
        discovery learning – Seymour Papert
        discovery learning Jean Piaget
        educational equity – Linda Darling-Hammond
        educational progressivism – John Dewey
        experiential learning theory – David Kolb
        guided discovery – Ann Brown
        how people learn – John D. Bransford
        Learning styles: Visual, Auditory, Reading, Kinesthetic – Neil Flemming
        learning styles – Anthony Gregorc
        mastery-learning- Benjamin Bloom
        measurement of intelligence – Alfred Binet
        metacognition – Ann Brown
        metacognition – John Flavell
        multicultural education – Donna Golnick
        multiple intelligences – Howard Gardner
        pedagogical content knoweledge – LeeSchulman
        pragmatism – John Dewey
        multiethnic educaiton – James Banks
        science/technology/society – Robert Yager
        social cognitive theory and self-efficacy – Albert Bandura
        social cognition – Lev S. Vygotsky
        subsumption theory, advance organizers – David Ausubel

        Liked by 1 person

  3. harulawordsthatserve says:

    I love that Rumi quote, and yes, we women can be our own worst enemies. I think it’s also about being open to receive compliments. Women find it hard to receive them from each other I think, so maybe part of not complimenting is not wanting to create that discomfort…? Interesting post, thanks for sharing 🙂 Harula x

    Liked by 1 person

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